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Update:
Installed patch 1.4: https://forum.ee2.eu/oldpics/o-q9Oqqgu.png. Install folder is now /Program Files (x86)/Sierra. Opening the 1.4 launcher (shortcut on desktop), got me the same screen as last time (terminal with purple background, and small minimized ee2 window). But now, I've also got this guy on my taskbar: https://forum.ee2.eu/oldpics/o-366IdHd.png, which reveals it's EE2 upon secondary click. Opening it, I get a momentary flash of black screen and a snippet of music, before it minimizes again. Mouseover gives this: https://forum.ee2.eu/oldpics/o-0lSwsNu.png. I checked the .cfg files, both have the correct display settings. All files are running in compatibility mode for Windows XP SP3.
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So, I ended up installing windows 7 on VirtualBox (crazy, I know), and it works! w00! However, I'm trying to up the resolution past 1024x768 (got patch 1.4), but when I go into Video settings, all I see is the default settings: https://forum.ee2.eu/oldpics/o-FaMIvup.png. The .cfg files in AppData have been changed to have displayMode of 1280x960x32, still no dice. Am I missing something? Also, suggestions for fixing the Windows 8 problem are still welcome, if possible.
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Got it to work for one brief moment, realized I was lagging, went to set settings to low and forgot to maintain the resolution where it was at. Resolution got set back to 800x600x16, and every time I tried to bump it up, I saw a notification that the resolution change failed. Now I'm playing on 1024x768, which isn't terrible I suppose. The worst part is, though, I'm still lagging! Any ideas on how to increase performance? I'll just research it on my own as well. Cheers!